< topography - Brooklyn Heights


Atlantic @ Hicks
Brooklyn Heights
{ mongoose 3/4/00: If The Love Boat were made into a movie and David Lynch directed, Montero's would have to be created. Thank God for us that it already exists. The décor whispers memories of drunken longshoreman and men contemplating their third marriages. Assorted stuffed animals covered in dust hang from the rafters, neatly juxtaposing the whimsical and hideous nautical theme. Cheap wooden boats, hastily slapped together by some forgotten masturbating adolescent adorn the untouched top-shelf liquor. Deflated and faded promotional items dangle like old breasts...Reingold. Say it like "Rosebud"...in a hoarse Orwellian [sic] whisper (over a pony bottle of Budweiser) and you may be able to embrace the tragedy that Montero's inspires. This is where the Love Boat crashes and sinks—it's a comforting feeling. The phrase "Don't ask, Don't tell" seems to best sum up a visit.}

Brooklyn Heights
{ mongoose 3/10/00: Beer gourmets, this is your alter—receive your sacrament. Every brand imaginable, knowledgeable and overworked staff sling the suds as patrons with their dogs (canines welcome) scurry about. Always packed on the weekend, if you sign up for a game of pool before 10:00 p.m. on friday you'll have plenty of time to enjoy brunch on Sunday until your table opens. Sparky's is a sea of available singles, fertile territory for both sexes. People were paired off in odd numbers, mixing frequently—not a lot of "couples" but clusterings of transient individuals who seemed to orbit rather than grab a seat and claim it for all eternity. This is refreshing, as you don't have to wait more than a few minutes for a seat to open. Return the favor and don't plant your ass like a tree—mingle a bit. People have a tendency to forget, bars are an opportunity for SOCIALIZING, and that means strangers aren't strange when you are over the legal limit and know how to handle yourself. Have fun. The mix: some fratty types, youthful and loud with a smattering of "Oh shit...I'm 40 and self-conscious of my age in here" types. A few local skanks and losers for that authentic feel. Love it on Fridays, Saturdays.}

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Brooklyn/Brooklyn Heights